They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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