you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
