My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
