Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
