I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
