my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
