You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
