i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
