Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
