I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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