we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He felt like a one man threesome
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
