It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize