Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
