just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
