Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i need some magic done to my vagina
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
