What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
