So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
