Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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