Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize