You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
