The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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