out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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