Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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