wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
