I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
