I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
