STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
