i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
