Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
