i would punch a child for taco bell
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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