all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
