No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
