I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
