I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
