Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
