I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I am mentally ready for anal.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
