It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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