just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
