kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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