Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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