Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize