my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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