She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize