Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
