He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
