Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
