in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
