Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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