is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
