If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize