Four minutes until I can fart!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
