So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
