I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
