she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're a waste of cheezeits
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
