We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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