Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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