Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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