Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
