dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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