It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
