Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
