idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
