dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I will be naked everywhere
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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