nut hugger
Sponge bath it is.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
